the time the time the time and written time – by Elischa Kaminer

wowza ok two and a half years nonclassical associate scheme <3 now searching this treasure trove, collecting and recollecting the sparks and pieces, still shiny, sticky-wet tender memories, somewhat of a diary in the making or in retrograde….. or better, always, start swimming in the beginning, young time, swimming and begin in the beginnings, בְּרֵאשִׁית always and always the ocean the purple the stars…

early waters and first meetings (back then on zoom, deep lockdowns and screens keeping us far and close-up, pixelated cutesies, sweetest welcome.

let’s do some sketching, sketching time and lines, embracing in-embrio visions and fluffy fabulations of early songs, of what could be sung (something out of the ordinary) more tender then usual, more feels, more flower than usual, dream-stuff and pixie dust crystallising into more then ideas, but virtual, actual strings and pixels to write and recount to start the book of love - all of this can be and none of this scripture must be set in stone, memorised, improvised - all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us [1]

to choose and discuss how to spend each coin - flipped over with care and transparency, to write and record, sing and organise raves, ask the rabbis.… all of this is on the table. first attempts to swim, a pool to play in, with freedom, with confetti, with souls who put their backs into it.. and all of it: with kindness, and *firendly* (really thank you for this kindness of the heart? (!) <3), might-fall-apart-but-lets-try embrace of play, paint, over and over again, for all the sounds.

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Only a few weeks in we got actual coaching? With real coach, a real real coach, not the sort of hot rugby-coach kind of coach (no surprise if that (i.e. the coach) was on the table too, after all a few months later, riding on steelhorses to Paris to meet up with Rabbi as my composer-mentor (<3!)),

- but not a rugby coach, a real real coach, miles better, wonderful Angharad Cooper (everyone go get a session with them asap).

I have never tried coaching really before (the closest thing where I would get my knowledge about what coaching might entail, from, would be Queer Eye or this german TV show we binged post-school, Zwei bei Kallwass, a bit more like couples therapy gone wrong and you’re just glued to the screen by how wrong it can go) but coaching was neither of these and I somewhat got hooked by actual coaching with a real coach and the concept of being able to bounce off any / really any (or mostly any) thoughts concerning the ~ beautifullymessy ~ amalgam of one’s personalprofessionalartisticqueer-parenthood-discussingpoliticalandeconomic struggles with someone who totally actually? probably really has their *s* together in discuss and pingpong fragile baby-ideas and wild-beast-visions in a professionalised, confidential space. golden hours, to look at what’s to come and how to tidy and choose and cook and make decisions and say no and respect your body. realising, what an actual paradise of a playground these years and this time can be.

music and play and playfulness and finding play in places that often seem void of playfulness (the very dark parts) but also the dull parts (funding application as poetry / poetry as funding application lul) and in a way, this is what we were / are here for - sweet spot in time, company, wildest playground to try out all the games and constellations.

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The funnest game and biggest game changer must have been what we did at IKLECTIK. that place which, now threatened to be evicted (go sign or forward or amplify by any means the petition to save their Waterloo Paradise home) which allowed us to do pretty much whatever the *h* we wanted / felt like skinny dipping in Hampstead Heath to the soundtrack of klezmerpunk covers of Natasha Beddingfield, I think there would have been very little which this place, this program, this dream of a team, wouldn’t be absolutely 100% committed to realise - rare gems of a community to encounter, thank you Blue, thank you Natalia, thank you Sophie! And the entire NC team for it all, the incredible work, this time, the support, your openness, response-ability and for absolutely riding with it all and being the kindest team one can wish for <3 And to encounter each of us and our visions and proposals, from cute to outrageus (fantasies of shooting Nazis and music videos in Disneyland) with this level of trust…

I didn’t go for klezmerpunk Nazi-hunting or nonviolent skinny-dipping in Disneyland, so instead I went for putting Joseph Havlat (consentually) into his Dino costume for a fest of Mayah Kadish, Alex Paxton and Jo going wild on the idea of revisiting their earliest memories of play and paint and toast and music-ing and dancing in to paint over and to make sense, 90 min of music and theatre made for and with these hyper-excellent souls and sound magicians, pure joy, pure animal, I cherished the mess we made on the floor of IKLECTIK (thank you again for letting us make our little mess on that beautiful wooden floor). I remember unpacking our set-design bits and pieces of random colourful toys, paddling pools, toasters and inflatables, rehearsing the dances at St. John’s Waterloo, dried confetti still sticking onto our dresses from the first time in Hannover at Musik 21 festival (beautifully curated by 1andonly Ole Hübner, check it and them out). Same smell, different house and Alex, Jo, Mayah, you truly did conjure up Golems like the sages of old. Purest joy for then meeting with Sarah Nemtsov to complement our holy mess with the premiere of the bliss that was Kadosh, a stunning tour-de-force written for Mayah, your vision of what a violin can be and become with electrifying support by as always earthily-wired+inspired musicprince and brilliant-mind + kind Tim Cape on electronics.

I have no clue really how long this blogpost is actually supposed to be, but thinking of the vast, really vast moments of pure creative joy that this time with NC facilitated, I feel I have to ride through all of it for at least a little bit ~ swift like Arwen rushing off with sickly Frodo to Rivendell / or shadowfax showing us the meaning of haste [2] I don’t know what’s up with the LOTR references I know exactly what’s up alex gave me a f**** LOTR themed rommé set for my birthday like wtf I love it too much, let’s ride_

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Incredibly rip my heart out beautiful playing by Cecilia Bignall on ‘the ocean the time the purple the stars’ <3 first release with nonclassical, blood and guts strumming and I did a bit of humming and talking about the meaning of the שְׁכִינָה Shechinah, the dwelling, with Blue on insta live, between sexuality, gender euphoria and shabbos-tunes, all squished into 6 minutes you can still stream or buy here ~

Or if you want the long version, soon there shall be Baruch HaShem ב״ה, a video and recording of what probably was the funnest thing for me to write in a long time, a 28 minute orchestral piece, Graphic Love / BeTselem, dedicated to the Queer Yeshiva, Alex, my family and family of choice and Rabbi Delphine Horvilleur - greatest joy to be able to speak to Delphine about ideas of where and how creation happens, in the dark/shadow (Tsel) - as she unravelled the roots of the words to me - rather than in the image. Not much solace, but solace after all, when being able to speak with those who live with the dead. When I was in Paris to meet Delphine in a cafe in the Marais, I felt the layers simultaneously unfolding and compressing, the scripture, the notation, the decision to choose notation, to write a book of love. The oral and the written Torah are nothing but that, two different forms of remembering love. With care and with always recounting the stories of love bound up with the stories of ultimate loss. Telling it and writing it and remembering it and telling it all over again. Thank you Delphine for those hours and the beautiful cantillation in your congregation.

Carrying on, wild riding through written time, I LOVED every second of performing with the absolute angel-baes of Southbank Sinfonia at St. John’s Smith Square beautifully conducted by Toby Thatcher, what a legend / you just rehearsed this monster baby in what 2 hours. And then Alice Alice Alice, Alice Zawadzki, voice and heart and soul coaching me through all of this, blessings in human shape. More messy joy, workshopping I <3 U (big premiere tbc?) with the CoMA players of London who stole my heart, I loved the way you sang this tune. Thank you Tamara Kohler for supervising this and onwards onwards with a version of this for CoMA Glasgow in the next few months!

- and then concerts and concerts and gatherings and all the concerts! And celebrations / DJ sets / CHOOC LY’s beats, still in my heart and bones, the battles and bands, events at the barbican all put on with heart and care, the end-of-year drinks, the workshops at Purcell School, the really fun dancing at Gaudeamus Festival and the continued joy of knowing to be able to dance with you in the future, everyone applyyyy <3

[1] Gandalf

[2] Gandalf

the time the time the time and written time

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